IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Young people are often the first to suffer when job opportunities are scarce. In which ways does age affect employment opportunities ? how might employers deal with the issue fairly ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #first #job #opportunities #age #employment #employers
The relationship between
age
 and
employment
opportunities
 is a subject of growing concern, especially when job
opportunities
 are limited. Young individuals often find themselves affected in
such
 situations.
Age
 plays a significant role in shaping
employment
opportunities
. Young people, when seeking jobs, often encounter challenges related to inexperience.
Moreover
,
age
-related stereotypes can result in older workers
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 better. To deal with
this
 issue fairly, employers can take several measures.
Firstly
, they should establish hiring processes prioritised by qualifications and skills over
age
. Companies can create special programs that bridge the generation gap, allowing younger employees to benefit from the knowledge and experience of their older colleagues. Another effective solution is to provide training and development
opportunities
 for employees of all ages.
Besides
, it is vital for employers to create a work culture that values and respects all employees, regardless of their generational background. In conclusion,
age
 can significantly influence
employment
opportunities
. The effects of
age
 on
employment
 are evident in issues
such
 as inexperience and
age
-related biases. Employers can address
this
 issue fairly by making inclusive hiring
Correct your spelling
practices
practises
practicesa
Correct your spelling
practices
 and offering different learning
opportunities
Submitted by marynchukangelina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the response directly addresses all parts of the essay question and provides a clear position on the issue. Support ideas with relevant examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices to connect ideas and create a well-structured essay.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used to express ideas more precisely. Use a variety of vocabulary related to the topic and demonstrate a strong command of academic language.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a strong control of grammar and punctuation with a wide range of structures. Use complex sentences and a variety of grammatical structures to convey ideas effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!