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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph grap illustrates the changes in employment trends over a period of 70 years in the United States

The line graph grap illustrates the changes in employment trends over a period of 70 years in the United States
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The line graph shows
from
Rephrase
how from
show examples
 1970 to 2025 how employment trend
to change
Change the verb form
changed
show examples
, by three types of main
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
: manufacturing, services and agriculture. The data is given by percentage. In
general
Add a comma
general,
show examples
 it shows that manufacturing and agriculture
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a huge
declided
Correct your spelling
decline
declined
decided
,
while
Linking Words
 services
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a great increase. The first thing
that is
Linking Words
 possible to observe
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 services
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a big peak, a little bit over
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
70% has been up since 1975.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the category manufacturing had a deep decrease after 1980, it was getting high with 40%
however
Linking Words
 the number
descend
Wrong verb form
descended
show examples
 to less than 20% in 3 years approximately.
However
Linking Words
, agriculture had
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 biggest decrease of all. It
descend
Wrong verb form
descended
show examples
rapidament
Correct your spelling
rapidly
 over these years, it was
70
Correct article usage
a 70
show examples
%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
decrease in 70 years,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means almost 10% for each decade.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • employment trends
  • period of 70 years
  • United States
  • changes
  • trends
  • overview
  • patterns
  • initial changes
  • significant shifts
  • impact
  • economic factors
  • findings
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