IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your local council is considering closing a sports and leisure centre that it runs, in order to save money. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter, •give details of how you and your friends or family use the centre • explain why the sports and leisure centre is important for the local community • describe the possible effects on local people if the centre closes You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write your own addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 to express my resentment for the closing of Gandhi
Sports
Use synonyms
 Centre in Kalyan Vihar, New Delhi. I am Jaskaran Singh Awal, a resident of Kalyan Vihar. I and my family go for morning and night walks in
this
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 facility, and some of my neighbour’s children take indoor and outdoor
sports
Use synonyms
 classes.
Hence
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, the closure of
this
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 facility would affect hugely to me and my family
.
Rephrase
hugely.
show examples
This
Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
 complex plays a vital role in the healthy environment of the people living in our locality because most of the people are dependent on
this
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 place for their daily indoor and outdoor activities
such
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 as walking, and skating.
Furthermore
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, there is no other
sports
Use synonyms
 facility in our area where we can go walking because most of the roads have huge traffic problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
closing
Add an article
the closing
show examples
 of Gandhi
Sports
Use synonyms
 Centre would affect the health of residents of Kalyan Vihar since physical activity would be reduced. Awaiting your prompt reply. Yours Faithfully, Jaskaran Singh Awal

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Task Achievement
The response does not fully address all parts of the task. The points mentioned about personal usage and community importance are adequate, but there is a lack of detail in describing the possible effects on local people if the centre closes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas presented in a disorganized manner. The greeting and closing are appropriate, but the overall coherence and cohesion need improvement.
Lexical Resource
The lexical resource is somewhat limited, and there is a need for a wider range of vocabulary to effectively convey the message.
Grammatical Range
There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the letter. A focus on improving sentence structure and grammatical accuracy is necessary.
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