IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to gender and age. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to gender and age. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The provided bar charts illustrate the percentages of people
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
who buy Pop
music
Use synonyms
, Rock
music
Use synonyms
 and classical
music
Use synonyms
 in the UK under their gender and
age
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, always men have higher percentages than women in all types of
music
Use synonyms
, meanwhile
25
Correct article usage
the 25
show examples
-34
age
Use synonyms
 category
prefere
Correct your spelling
prefers
 Pop
music
Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other
age
Use synonyms
 groups, and
16
Correct article usage
the 16
show examples
-24
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
buy
Correct subject-verb agreement
buys
show examples
 the highest amount of Rock
music
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, over 45 years old
custormers
Correct your spelling
customers
 are the most popular
age
Use synonyms
 category who take Classical
music
Use synonyms
album
Fix the agreement mistake
albums
show examples
. It can be seen that nearly 30% of men have bought Pop
music
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 women reach just below 20%. Almost 30% of them are 16-24 ages and it is just above 30% in 25- 34 years
olders
Correct your spelling
holders

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words music, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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