Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages? Two of each at least
As our world is becoming increasingly globalized, individuals are now more willing and able to find employment opportunities far from their birthplaces than at any other point in our history.
Although
this
trend has certain drawbacks, I believe the advantages are greater.
Several downsides associated with the mobility of labor
are clear. The most obvious one is Change the spelling
labour
separation
of families and friends. To explain, Add an article
the separation
a separation
people
who move to another country for work
may not be able come
Add the particle
to come
home
often to visit their relatives. Strong friendships can also
fade if friends do not meet regularly. For example
, Egyptians who live and work
in the UAE usually have one month annually to see their friends and families. Thus
/therefore
/hence
, those who move and those who stay become lonelier. From an economic perspective, local companies may suffer from a lack of experienced labor
. If too many Change the spelling
labour
people
choose to work
abroad, local businesses will deteriorate. Although
all these disadvantages must be acknowledged, in most cases
they are outweighed by the financial benefits of working away.
Today, Add a comma
cases,
people
from less-developed regions or areas can relocate to more prosperous cities or countries with higher salaries and better career opportunities. Although
perhaps lonelier, those individuals can improve their own standard of living as well as
that of their families back home
, to whom they usually send money. A prominent example can be seen in the Gulf countries, where many expatriates send family expenses on a monthly basis. In addition
, after working away for several years, some will return home
. With savings and new skills, they may then
be able to establish new businesses or find jobs they could not get before, helping to develop their home
region. Thus
, what can be said is that relocating for work
can help people
improve their own financial situation as well as
contribute to the development of their homeland.
In conclusion, for many people
, the ability to move within national boards or abroad to find better career opportunities is an enormous advantage because, in most cases, it leads to more economic prosperity. Although
they may have to leave people
they are close to, and their absence can make it harder for companies in their home
regions to find employees, I still believe that the advantages of this
trend are far more significant than its drawbacks.Submitted by ahmed.nabih.salem on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are well-organized with clear topic sentences. While the logical structure is generally good, some paragraphs could benefit from more explicit topic sentences to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Maintain the use of cohesive devices, and ensure they are varied and aptly placed to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear position and covers the task sufficiently. However, for a higher score, ensure that your main ideas are expanded with more detailed explanations and a variety of examples.
task achievement
For an improved response, ensure the full development of ideas with multiple examples, as they currently lack depth and variety, which could limit the score. Aim to include specific and detailed examples that reinforce your arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
