The charts below show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014

#show #percentage #volunteers #organizations

The given pie charts portray information about the percentage of people who work unpaid in several sectors held by organisations in different years, 2008 and 2014.

Overall

it is clear that

the trends of

volunteers

in environment, sport, and health care increased

whereas

in art, education, and

others

Fix the agreement mistake

other sectors

show examples

sector

dropped. It is worth noticing that the proportion of

volunteers

environmental

Add an article

the environmental

show examples

sector

was 21% in 2008, and

experiencing improve

Wrong verb form

experienced an improvement of

show examples

around ten percent in 2014. In

sports

Add an article

the sports

show examples

sector

, there

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

15% in 2008

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and went up to

a quarters

Correct the article-noun agreement

quarters

a quarter

show examples

in 2014.

In addition

, the number of people who worked without pay in health care made up 7% in 2008, and these figures experienced a slight growth of one per cent in 2014. Meanwhile, it is apparently seen that

volunteers

art

Correct article usage

the art

show examples

sector

fell a small percentage in 2014 compared to the

last

period, from 18% in 2008 became 12% in 2014. In education, comparing almost a quarter of

volunteers

in 2008, decreased to 17% in 2014.

Moreover

, the rates for

volunteers

accounted for 15% in other sectors in 2008

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and witnessed a significant rate under ten per cent

at the end

of the period.

Submitted by musa.nuwa on Tue Nov 21 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words volunteers, sector with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

193 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts below show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014

Some people say that the only reason for learning language is in order to travel ro or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health whole others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.