Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behaviour both on and off the field, can have negative influences. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Some people think that the greatest
athletes
play excellent parts in advertising that guide
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
in
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
direction, but others evaluate their commercial activity as unpleasant
deceiving
Correct word choice
and deceiving
show examples
manner. I would discuss both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
of view and argue why I disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
type of role they opt to
do
Verb problem
play
show examples
. There are some benefits for
atlethes
Correct your spelling
athletes
and
also
for
society
Add an article
the society
show examples
that advertisers use
athletes
to advertise their products.
Firstly
, individuals can trust
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
athletes
who are honest. These popular respectful
athletes
would not deceive society to achieve some money, they would propose the goods which they believe
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
athletes
like
christiano ronaldo
Correct your spelling
Cristiano Ronaldo
who is
favourite
Correct article usage
a favourite
show examples
among
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
, would not fool his followers who worship him.
Secondly
in our unethical world
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we can not rely on any advertisement, in the favour of some famous
athletes
, we can choose and buy our products without extreme
cautious
Replace the word
caution
show examples
.
However
, some significant
dismerits
Correct your spelling
demerits
outhweigh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
its advantages. The
athletes
unwillingly influence the public to choose things that they do not need or believe in.
youngs
Capitalize word
Youngs
show examples
are so conveniently affected by their popular champions and sometimes pray
them
Change preposition
for them
show examples
,
Thus
they would go wrong. Some
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
heros
Correct your spelling
heroes
are not honest and
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not care trustworthy. They serve for wealthy businessmen to spread their products among
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
at any price, and share the profit of good-selling.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
in our
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
we know so many
athletes
who tend to have their business in
this
way.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
this
phenomenon is a track ahead self-thinking and should be
evoided
Correct your spelling
avoided
, as
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
follow their
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
celebrities unconsciously. In conclusion,
although
there are some advantages for young society in having
athletes
as models,
yet
Rephrase
apply
show examples
in my opinion the disadvantages of
this
event do
outhweigh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
it.
Submitted by davudznml123456 on

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Task Response
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the upcoming discussion and your stance on the issue.
Task Response
Develop each paragraph with a clear central idea, supported by specific examples and expanded explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to convey your points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay in clear, logical paragraphs: one for the introduction, at least two for the body, and one for the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the accuracy of language, including grammar, punctuation, and spelling, to improve clarity.
Task Response
Provide a clear conclusion that summarizes the points made and reflects back to the introduction.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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