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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts
depicts
Change the verb form
depict
show examples
 the percentages of British pupils of an
England University
Correct your spelling
English university
show examples
 that
available
Add a missing verb
are available
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 to produce other foreign languages
beside
Replace the word
besides
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 English in 2 different years; 2000 and 2010. By and large, some pupils dominated to speak in French, German, or Spanish only,
another
Replace the adjective
other
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students
Use synonyms
 were able to make conversation in one or two other
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
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, and the rest could not talk in other languages unless in English.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2000, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who can speak French was 15% but in the next 1o years, its
number
Use synonyms
 decreased by 5%. The same trend happened to those who could not
produce
Verb problem
speak languages
show examples
 other language than English, which within 10
years
Correct your spelling
10-year
 span of period, the
number
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fell
down
Rephrase
apply
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by 10%.
However
Linking Words
, the opposite trend happened to the category of
students
Use synonyms
 who speak in Spanish, only one other language, and two other languages. It can be seen that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in these categories had increased from 2000 to 2010 by 5%.
While
Linking Words
 other categories made
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gradually
Change the adverb
gradual
show examples
 changes, it seemed that only
students
Use synonyms
 who could speak German experienced no changes by getting stable in its
number
Use synonyms
, 10%.
Submitted by e.warikar on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • multilingualism
  • globalisation
  • immigration
  • education policy
  • career prospects
  • cultural understanding
  • distribution
  • percentage
  • increased/decreased
  • significant
  • trends
  • shifts
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