The pie charts give information about the proportoin males and females in employment in six categories divided into manualand non-manual occupations

The pie charts give information about the proportoin males and females in employment  in six  categories  divided into manualand non-manual occupations
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The rendered set of pie charts illustrates the proportion of males and
females
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in employment in six different categories
also
Linking Words
divided into manual and non-manual occupations.
Overall
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, it is clearly seen that both genders were highly employed in managerial and professional,
whereas
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the lowest
per cent
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percentage
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of
females
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was in general labours.
According to
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the given data, the largest percentile of men were employed in managerial and professional jobs 36%. Followed by female 29%.
Moreover
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, there was a difference of 1% between both the sexes in manual and non-manual categories.
Furthermore
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, individuals showed the least interest in general labourers. Moving
further
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, a 21% increment has been
showing
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shown
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in craft activity by men as compared to women. Meanwhile, in other non-manual activities,
females
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were 9% as well males were 6% who were involved.
Lastly
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, 31% of
females
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were in clerical or related activities.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words females with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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