In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this changed occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?
In
this
contemporary era, youth
adults are spending less Correct your spelling
young
time
their
families and more Change preposition
with their
time
spend their friends
. There are several causes solutions
Correct word choice
and solutions
with
Change preposition
to
this
notion.
To embark upon, there are several causes of with
Change preposition
for
this
notion.Predominantly , in this
modern era, every adults almost their full time
spend their friends
instead
of their parents
because they always share
their emotions and their
talk with their Correct pronoun usage
apply
friends
due to
lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
parents
do not
Verb problem
apply
understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
to
their Change preposition
apply
child
in any situation. Fix the agreement mistake
children
Moreover
another reason ,they always
depressed at home thinking about their career and other Add a missing verb
are always
more
things even Correct quantifier usage
apply
whenever
adults have Correct word choice
when
in
depression. Change preposition
apply
As a consequence
, due to
lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
parents
support and not Replace the word
parental
understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
to
their child in any problems so that's why they don't spend Change preposition
apply
time
their
Change preposition
with their
parents
.
Paradoxically, there are several solutions of with
Change preposition
to
this
trend. Chiefly, if children
don't spend time
with their guidiance
Correct your spelling
guidance
that is
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
of
their Change preposition
with
presents
because Fix the agreement mistake
presence
parents
should understand their children
in any situation and always do support their pupil
in good work. Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
Parents
should always share
their talks with their adult
.Fix the agreement mistake
adults
For instance
, if parents
will
Verb problem
apply
share
their talks with children
, the children
always share
their talks, Correct word choice
and emotion
emotion
with their Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
parents
and always stay at home rather than most time
spend their friends
.
In conclusion, although
there are myriad causes of with
Change preposition
apply
this
trend but
Correct word choice
apply
solution
not be neglected. The main solution ,Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
parents
should spend time
their
Change preposition
with their
children
in their hectic schedule then
children
definitely spend their quality time
with dear parents
.Submitted by komalpreet4194 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a coherent structure, with unclear progression of ideas. It is advisable to plan your essay with clear paragraphs, each containing one main idea that is thoroughly explained and developed. Also, transition words should be used to enhance the flow of information.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear issue with the introduction and conclusion as they do not fulfill their purpose effectively. The introduction should clearly state the purpose of the essay and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points. You should work on crafting these sections with more clarity and focus.
coherence cohesion
The essay does not sufficiently develop main points with adequate support. It is essential to include clear examples and explanations to back up your statements. This can be improved by extensive planning before writing to ensure each point is substantiated with either a logical explanation or an example.
task achievement
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task achievement
The ideas presented are not entirely clear or comprehensive, indicating a need for improved clarity in expression and depth in content. It is recommended to focus on developing fewer points well rather than attempting to cover many superficially.
task achievement
You have provided few specific examples, and the relevance of these to the main points is not always clear. Incorporate relevant, detailed examples to strengthen your points and make your essay more persuasive.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example