The table below gives information on UK males’ and females’ average hours and minutes on different daily activities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information on UK males’ and females’ average hours and minutes on different daily activities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table above provided, illustrates a
comprison
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comparison
on United Kingdom both
mens'
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men's
show examples
and
womens'
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women's
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average time
spending
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spent
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on different daily activities.
Overall
Linking Words
, from the initial perspective, we can find that the most time
spending
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spent
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for
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by
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both
gender
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genders
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is sleeping which is over 8 hours a day, and the
least
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last
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one for males and females
is
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in
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sport and others which is 0.13 and 0.07 respectively per day.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we can see that males have more leisure in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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than women.
Firstly
Linking Words
, men spend their day in some categories a negligible more than women,
for instance
Linking Words
in eating and drinking, watching TV/DVD and
listen
Wrong verb form
listening
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to radio/music, hobbies and games, sports and travel.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, women spend a mere over than men on resting, personal care, childcare, social life and entertainment/culture, reading and voluntary work and meetings.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the end,
although
Linking Words
UK females' hours
on
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of
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housework are
considarably
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considerably
more than
mens'
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men's
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,
mens'
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men's
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hours in employment and study
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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markedly higher.
Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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