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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of people who used five different communication methods between 1998 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the percentage of people who used five different communication methods between 1998 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given line graph
illustrateshowmouch
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illustrates how much
 percentage of people used five different types of communication approaches from 1998 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be observed that the proportion of cellular phone service outnumbered that of landline
serivce
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service
 and became the most
popularmethods
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popular method
 to communicate in the area in 2002.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of cellular phone service took up the maximal proportion over the years, after three consecutively dramatic increases from its lowest point
approximately
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of approximately
show examples
 15% to the peak
60
Change preposition
of 60
show examples
% in 2008. Interestingly, the initial highest percentage of all only
flactuated
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fluctuated
fluctuate
 between 15% and 20% and remained the same ratio as that in 1998. In
therms
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terms
show examples
 of the
initernet
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internet
 service, the counterpart kept a stable trend before 2002 and, after that, was seen a significant change from about 5% to almost 19% and
finally
Linking Words
 rose slowly to 20%. In the meanwhile, the proportion of fixed broadband almost stayed the same despite a slight
flactuation
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fluctuation
 after 2002. As for the least frequent
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of mobile broadband, the
munber
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number
 has just gradually grown
for
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by
show examples
 only a little bit from
onriginal
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original
 0% to 4%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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