IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charls below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#minutes #charls #show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts illustrate data about
average
Add an article
the average
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
Sodium
Use synonyms
, Added
Sugar
Use synonyms
,
Saturated
Correct word choice
and Saturated
show examples
 Fat in regular meals, which may not be healthy if
consume
Wrong verb form
consumed
show examples
 too much.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that most
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Sodium
Use synonyms
 and Saturated Fat are involved in dinner,
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
 in snacks added
sugar
Use synonyms
 has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher
proportion
Use synonyms
. Looking at the pie charts in more detail it can be seen that
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 dinner
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Add an article
the nutrient
a nutrient
show examples
nutrient
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrients
show examples
 is
Sodium
Use synonyms
, which is 43%. In comparison
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 involvement of saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
 is 37% and 23%.
However
Linking Words
, in
lunch
Add a comma
lunch,
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 of these three nutrients are almost close, where
Sodium
Use synonyms
 has the higher
proportion
Use synonyms
 at 29% and saturated fat,
added
Correct word choice
and added
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
 is 26% and 19% respectively. Turning to the remaining data it can be seen that in snacks most of the meals
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 added
sugar
Use synonyms
 at 42%, where the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
Sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat is only 14% and 21%.
Hence
Linking Words
, in all breakfast
meals
Add a comma
meals,
show examples
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of these three nutrients
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, where
sodium
Use synonyms
\'s
proportion
Use synonyms
 is
little
Add an article
a little
show examples
 bit lower than others at 14%.
Submitted by detefe3994 on

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coherence cohesion
Introduction is brief and somewhat effective but could be improved with a clearer overview. Main points are visible but lack depth in analysis. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of information. Use clear topic sentences to start each paragraph, ensuring that the subsequent sentences follow logically. The conclusion is missing, which affects the overall structure of the response.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by summarising the main features of the charts, however, the full implications of the data are not thoroughly explained. Work on developing specific examples to support the percentages mentioned. Avoid merely listing data - interpret it to provide a more comprehensive response. Be sure to complete the response by including an overall summary or conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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