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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given table depicts the information about the proportion of number of children ever born ta a female aged 40-44 in Australia for each year after 1981. Overall, the percentage of women in Australia with no children have increased in a times span of two decades and several years, where as the percentage of women with four or more children has decreased with a great margin. Starting from, the proportion of females in Australia with no children have increased with 1.2% in first 5 years where as in next 25 years it jumped up to 15.9%. similarly the proportion of women with one child also increased in 2006 up to 13.2% where whereas it was only 7.6 in 1981. Linking to it, the females with two children have showed a steady growth up to 38.3 in 2006 as compared to 27.4% in year. Moving for the, the woman with three children have showed a study decline. Adding to it, the percentage of women with four or more children follows a similar trend where it dropped up to 11% in 2006 compared to 27.6%.

The given table depicts the information about the proportion of number of children ever born ta a female aged 40-44 in Australia for each year after 1981. Overall, the percentage of women in Australia with no children have increased in a times span of two decades and several years, where as the percentage of women with four or more children has decreased with a great margin. Starting from, the proportion of females in Australia with no children have increased with 1.2% in first 5 years where as in next 25 years it jumped up to 15.9%. similarly the proportion of women with one child also increased in 2006 up to 13.2% where whereas it was only 7.6 in 1981. Linking to it, the females with two children have showed a steady growth up to 38.3 in 2006 as compared to 27.4% in year. Moving for the, the woman with three children have showed a study decline. Adding to it, the percentage of women with four or more children follows a similar trend where it dropped up to 11% in 2006 compared to 27.6%.
#information #proportion #children #ta #australia #year #percentage #women #times #span #two #decades #years #four #margin #females #first #child #growth #woman #three #study #decline #trend
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The given table depicts the information about the proportion of
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 ever born
ta
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
female aged 40-44 in Australia for each year after 1981.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 in Australia with no
children
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased in a
times
Change the noun form
time
show examples
 span of two decades and several years,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 with four or more
children
Use synonyms
 has decreased
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a great margin. Starting from, the proportion of females in Australia with no
children
Use synonyms
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
Change preposition
to
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1.2% in
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 5 years
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 25 years it jumped up to 15.9%.
Linking Words
similarly
Add a comma
similarly,
show examples
 the proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 with one child
also
Linking Words
 increased in 2006
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 13.2%
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 it was only 7.6 in 1981. Linking to it, the females with two
children
Use synonyms
 have
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
 a steady growth up to 38.3 in 2006 as compared to 27.4% in
year
Add an article
a year
the year
show examples
. Moving for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
, the woman with three
children
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
 a study decline. Adding to it, the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 with four or more
children
Use synonyms
 follows a similar trend where it dropped up to 11% in 2006 compared to 27.6%.
Submitted by garvverma1971 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words children, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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