IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some businesses observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to lack the interpersonal skills needed for communication with their colleagues. What could be the reason for this? What solutions can help address this problem?

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Some of the companies encounter issues with former students who have taken a degree recently because of the fact that they sort of prone to communicate well with other
people
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as well as
Linking Words
 lack
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
interpersonal
skills
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. There are a number of reasons for
this
Linking Words
 problem, including lack of
experience
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, but
this
Linking Words
 issue can be solved by a variety of measurements. On the one hand,
this
Linking Words
 problem might stem from two main reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
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apply
show examples
students prefer just studying during the academic year rather than gaining
experience
Use synonyms
 by joining some workshops or
groupworks
Correct your spelling
groups
. They probably consider that learning and memorizing is enough for them to build the future that they are looking for.
However
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, they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
might be wrong in terms of
experience
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 in fostering
skills
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 that only be achieved with communication. Take
for example
Linking Words
 any organization,
people
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 communicate with one another in
attempt
Correct article usage
an attempt
show examples
 to handle some issues or cases.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I think that
the
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apply
show examples
most
of
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apply
show examples
students do have particular interpersonal
skills
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 just for their fellows in universities or colleges. It means that they are accustomed to
interact
Change the verb form
interacting
show examples
 with
people
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with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the same age,
some
Correct your spelling
same
show examples
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 course. As soon as they become employee, they probably meet new
people
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 that have superior
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
, different age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 and simultaneously
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of job positions.
In
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At
show examples
 that moment, graduates might have issues with
new
Correct article usage
the new
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 atmosphere.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are two main ways to solve the issue. If they take part in some companies` programs before their graduation to gain
experience
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 and foster a qualified skill, it assists them
to build
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in building
show examples
 their career beforehand. There are some organizations that provide opportunities
such
Linking Words
 as organizing workshops for new
employees
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, employers or businesses should give opportunity to
employees
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 enough time to adapt to the environment on purpose. If they set aside time to bond new
employees
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 to prior ones, newcomers will
subsequently
Linking Words
 become part of their
colleague
Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
show examples
. In conclusion,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of interpersonal
skills
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 is caused by not
enough
Add a missing verb
having enough
show examples
experience
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as well as
Linking Words
 not knowing
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 atmosphere of work. Only when
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 new
employees
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 should encourage themselves to build up new communications
skills
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 and they should be introduced or adapted to new exposure.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this idea is developed with specific examples. Aim to provide concrete evidence or scenarios that effectively illustrate the points being made.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs by using linking words and phrases effectively. Maintain a logical flow that guides the reader through your argument without confusion.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task, both in terms of identifying reasons for the lack of interpersonal skills among new graduates and proposing solutions to this challenge.
Task Achievement
Elaborate on your ideas with clarity and depth, where possible. Rather than simply stating an opinion or solution, expand on how and why it is relevant and what the implications might be.
Task Achievement
Where appropriate, include real-life examples or references to support your points. These examples serve to ground your argument and make it more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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