As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element for individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

There is no doubt that
job
satisfaction
is an important element of individual
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
because most
people
spend a major part of their adult life at work. There are many factors that contribute to
job
satisfaction
like personal interest, or salary, but these elements could not be available for all workers. The first factor that I think is very effective for
job
satisfaction
is salary.
People
work to attain money and expect to have welfare in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. When employees
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
make enough money for themselves or their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
, they will lose their life expectancy.
For example
, when the cost of living is more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
a teacher’s salary, how he
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have fulfilment
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
his
job
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
So, the amount of money that
people
make
is have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
a positive impact on their
job
satisfaction
. The second factor
that is
very important is whether the
people
’s
job
is related to their interest or not. Individuals would like to work in the field
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
they are interested.
For example
, a boy who likes chemistry does not want to be an English teacher and spend his time
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teaching.
Therefore
, working in your
interested
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
field brings you
satisfaction
about your
job
as well. An important fact that exists is that not everyone enjoys their
job
. Many countries are straggling with
bad
Add an article
the bad
show examples
economic
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
and governments
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
suitable jobs for
people
. So, they have little choice in the kind of
job
they can find. Sometimes, a man might find a
job
that suits neither his interests nor his cost of living. In conclusion, it is impossible to bring
job
satisfaction
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
everyone and there are many things that might affect
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
,
s
Change preposition
's
show examples
choice
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
job
. I think we have to be lucky to find a
job
that we want.
Submitted by mortezadadfar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction & conclusion
Your essay does include an introduction and conclusion; however, clarity can be improved, particularly within the conclusion, to reiterate the key points and the essay's stance more effectively.
coherence
The essay demonstrates a basic logical structure but lacks complex structures and cohesive devices that would improve the readability and flow of ideas. To enhance coherence, use a wider range of linking words and sentence structures.
main points support
Your main points could benefit from deeper development and stronger support, including more detailed examples or evidence. In future essays, aim to expand upon each main point with specific and relevant examples and clearer explanations.
complete response
While you addressed the topic, your response did not fully develop all parts of the prompt, missing a deeper analysis of factors contributing to job satisfaction and the realism of job satisfaction for all workers. Ensure each part of the question is answered comprehensively.
clear & comprehensive ideas
Ideas presented in your essay are generally clear, but they could be explained more comprehensively. Strive for depth and detail in your writing to fully convey your understanding of the topic.
specific examples
Relevant examples are utilized, but they lack specificity and do not thoroughly support the argument. Incorporate more specific, real-world examples to strengthen the connection between your claims and the evidence presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • wellbeing
  • contribute
  • meaningful work
  • work-life balance
  • career progression
  • workplace environment
  • recognition
  • constructive feedback
  • compensation
  • benefits
  • job security
  • autonomy
  • skills match
  • interests match
  • variety
  • challenge
  • economic conditions
  • labor market
  • individual expectations
  • job role
What to do next:
Look at other essays: