The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
The pie charts compare several activities
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
done by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working adults in a certain country in 1985 and 2008.
Overall
, career
people
mostly
loved
Wrong verb form
love
show examples
to spend their time
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
working
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
,
while
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
of them
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
barely
hangout
Correct your spelling
hang out
show examples
with significant others
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
the changing period. In 1958, more than one-third
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the total number of working
people
already busying themselves to finished their job, and that amount rose to 42% in 2008. Among other
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
, the same case
also
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
folks who
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
to
relaxing
Change the verb
relax
show examples
at home which increased by 5% from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
total of 8%.
Although
the
occassion
Correct your spelling
occasion
on
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
to work might become the least
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the beginning of the period, it increased to 8% eventually, which shared the same number with
people
who do other interests or playing sports.
In addition
, sleeping become the second highest activity that has
done
Add a missing verb
been done
show examples
by working
people
,
although
it
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
by 7% 50 years later. The decreasing event,
however
,
also
occurs
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
who choose to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality time with friends and family, as
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
, the total number only accounted for 6%, making it the least activity
that is
favoured by career
people
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, although".
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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