IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

IELTS Essay Task 1: Australian Residents The line chart details the proportion of residents living in Australia in millions from different regions between 1976 and 2011.

#ielts #australian #residents #line #proportion #australia #millions #regions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line chart below illustrates the number of people living in Australia from different localities between 1976 and 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total number of residents has always been relatively the same but started to increase in the late 90’s. Over the time period, the figures increased for
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 and
Asia
Use synonyms
 but decreased for the UK. Looking at the chart in more detail, the total number of residents gradually declined from 23
million
Use synonyms
 to 18 from 1976 to 1996. In 2001the statistics rose to the original figures and increased even more to 25
million
Use synonyms
 in 2011.The data for
Asia
Use synonyms
 and the UK have always been interlinked. In 1976, there were around double the people living in the Other region than
Asia
Use synonyms
, these figures respectively being 6 and 12. These both steadily inclined until 2006, where Other overtook
Asia
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 finished above Other with 15
million
Use synonyms
 compared to 13. The UK started with the majority of people in 1976 at around 14. Over the next 10
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 there was
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 fall to 10
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 before a dramatic decline occurred to 5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2011.
Submitted by abeera2012 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Make sure to write a clear introduction stating what is being shown in the chart, followed by an overview summarizing the key trends before moving into the body of the essay.
logical structure
Ensure that there is a clear logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on different aspects of the chart. Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs.
supported main points
Provide support for the main points with specific data from the chart, while being careful not to describe every detail. Focus on comparing, contrasting, and summarizing significant trends.
complete response
Address all parts of the task, ensuring that you report the data for the given time period accurately and make comparisons where relevant.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim to present ideas clearly and comprehensively by organizing the essay into clear paragraphs, each of which should have a clear central idea. Some sentences are descriptive but lack a comprehensive analytical approach.
relevant specific examples
Make sure to use specific examples and data from the chart to illustrate trends and support your descriptions. Avoid general statements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: