The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates by which
rain
Correct your spelling
rainwater
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water
Use synonyms
is processed before it is ready to be consumed by a certain citizen in Australia. In general, there are several stages involved in the process,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
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by
Change preposition
with
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collecting rainwater and
ended
Wrong verb form
ending
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by
Change preposition
with
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using
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
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before it is ready to be consumed.
According to
Linking Words
the diagram, the process involves
natural
Correct article usage
a natural
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phenomenon,
in
Change preposition
apply
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which
it is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
started
Wrong verb form
starts
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when rain
is falling
Wrong verb form
falls
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. Following that, the rainwater is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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collected and pipes are used to help the
water
Use synonyms
flows
Correct subject-verb agreement
flow
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to the
water
Use synonyms
filter. In
this
Linking Words
filter, other particles
is
Change the verb form
are
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being separated from the
water
Use synonyms
. After the filtration, the
water
Use synonyms
is stored in a reservoir before it is ready to be transferred to the
water
Use synonyms
treatment. In
this
Linking Words
treatment,
chemical
Add an article
the chemical
a chemical
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is used to precipitate other particles that
left
Add a missing verb
are left
show examples
in the
water
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
is ready to be consumed
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
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,
such
Linking Words
as for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
residence
Fix the agreement mistake
residences
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, hospitals,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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, or other public facilities.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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