The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in england who were able to speak other languages in addition to English,in 2000 and 2010

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in england who were able to speak other languages in addition to English,in 2000 and 2010
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart illustrates
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the amount of UK students from one particular university in England who can communicate in different languages other than English in the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
2000 and 2010. It is clearly seen that, in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years Spanish
language
Use synonyms
is been dominant and has increased by
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
amount, whilst
German
Change the article
the German
show examples
language
Use synonyms
has not shown any changes but
French
Change the article
the French
show examples
language
Use synonyms
has reduced its share. As per the figures demonstrated,
Spanish
Add an article
the Spanish
show examples
language
Use synonyms
was
significantly
Add an article
a significantly
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
spoken
language
Use synonyms
in 2000 with 30% of
share
Correct article usage
the share
show examples
overall
Linking Words
, which later increased by another 5% in the
year
Use synonyms
2010. The
second highest
Add a hyphen
second-highest
show examples
group could communicate only in English and
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
at 20% in the first
year
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
later the number dropped by half in 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
languages spoken were increased from 15% in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
year
Use synonyms
to 20% in 2010.
In addition
Linking Words
,
French
Change the article
the French
show examples
language
Use synonyms
was at identical value with
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other languages
show examples
language
Use synonyms
in 2000, which decreased by 5% after a decade.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2020 the
last
Linking Words
two groups were for two other languages and no other
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
were at 10% and 20% respectively and in 2010 it was increased by 50% and 100% each.
Submitted by deepalivaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, language with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: