The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pie charts provide information about the percentage of

time

working youngsters doing diverse activities

such

as sleeping,working,playing sports and so on in a certain country in 1958 and in 2008.

Overall

, the most consumed

time

activity among adults was working,followed by sleeping in 1958, which was the same after 10 years.

To begin

with,almost one-third of the 24 hours mature people spent

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working in 1958.Adults spend

also

most of their

time

sleeping(32%) which was merely 1 % less than working.Going out with friends or with family members(19% of all day) are

also

is considered a popular activity among juveniles.

Lastly

,with regard to relaxing at home,travelling to work and playing sports,teenage age people spend the least amount of

time

on these activities with

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

8%,2%,

Correct word choice

and 6

show examples

% respectively. In 2008,there were not too many

noticable

Correct your spelling

noticeable

changes.Adults spending hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working experienced an upward trend to 42% which was 9% more,compared with 1958 indicators.Both the amount of

time

in relaxing at home and

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

to work slightly increased to 13% and 8% respectively,

while

the total

time

on going out with friends or sleeping plummeted.

Finally

,in terms of other interests or playing sports sour a little bit to 8%

Submitted by alex.martirosyan201206 on Fri Dec 22 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

194 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it doesn't solve poverty. therefore developed countries should give other type of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answers with examples.

Some people believe that to protect local cultures, tourism should be banned in some areas, while others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss bothe sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Every year several languages die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people’s interest in famous people in the history of their country?