You and some of your friends want to start a weekly dance club, and you have found a hall that would be suitable to hold your meetings. Write a letter of the hall. In your letter: Explain the dance project Ask if it is possible to rent the hall and under what terms State what day and times you would like to use the hall

#friends #dance #club #hall #meetings #project #rent #terms #times

Dear Ms.Tris Hope you

Add a missing verb

are in

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healthy condition. Let me

intuduce

Correct your spelling

introduce

my self

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myself

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, my name is Julie and I

teaching

Wrong verb form

teach

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dance at London University. I am writing

this

letter

itending

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intending

tending

to booking your hall for dance meetings. I have been to looking hall for my meetings but none are available to use.

Unfortunately

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Unfortunately,

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my meetings should to held

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show examples

23 June 2023.

On the other

hand

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hand,

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I have not been

prepare

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preparing

prepared

show examples

for my dance club. Could you let me whether

yor

Correct your spelling

your

hall is available

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show examples

21 June 2023? if you give approval for my request, please let me know

abot

Correct your spelling

about

terms

Correct article usage

the terms

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and conditions. Looking forward to your positive response. I really appreciate your time and consideration. Please tell me if you should

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apply

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know any

informations

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information

or documents about my request. Have a good day! Yours Faithfully Roma

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Tue Dec 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

There are structural problems in the letter that impair its readability, such as inconsistent formatting, lack of clear paragraphing, and general disorganization. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear purpose, and the letter has a logical structure from the introduction to the conclusion.

task achievement

While the main purpose of the letter is presented, there are discrepancies in the dates mentioned, which can confuse the reader. Be clear and consistent with the information provided. Additionally, there is a lack of detail regarding the 'dance project', which should be elaborated upon to fully achieve the task.

task achievement

The tone of the letter is somewhat informal and contains errors that do not reflect the formal tone expected in a letter of this nature. Use an appropriate level of formality, including correct salutations and sign-offs, and ensure that the language used is professional.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

Best regards,
Warm wishes,

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

137 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The Closing

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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

These days mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?