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Band 4

You live in Ho Chi Minh City. You moved to Manchester to study English three months ago. You have just received an email from a friend of mine, Sara from London. Read part of her email below. Write a reply to Sara. In your email, you have to describe Manchester and the weather there, tell her about your part-time job, the family you are staying with, and your activities in the evening, and finally you have to write about your English classes there. You should write at least 120 words.

#chi #minh #city #manchester #study #english #three #months #email #friend #mine #sara #london #part #weather #job #activities #classes
Dear Sara, I am writing to thank you for writing
this
 letter to me about my life when moved to Manchester to study English three months ago. I really like Manchester,
this
 is a great city for me, the people here are very friendly and enthusiastic. I have been living here for a
while
 and I really like the weather here because I really like
this
 cold weather. Work at the fast-food restaurant is still going very well and it helps me to some extent with my living expenses. The family I live with is very happy and cheerful, they always encourage me to learn English well to facilitate my future work. I spend all day studying and working, so I rarely go out in the evening to take time to rest. And
finally
, my English classes are still very good, the teachers are very enthusiastic and supportive of the learners. Give your thanks. Le Huy Gia Hoang
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task achievement
While you have written a response which attempts to address all the requested points, there is a lack of detail and expansion upon the key topics, such as specific aspects of Manchester's weather, details regarding your part-time job, in-depth descriptions of the family you stay with, or the activities you engage in during the evenings. Aim to provide a more thorough completion of the task, with clear, fleshed-out ideas that adhere to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your letter is unclear, with ideas not being logically ordered or well-developed. It is advised that you ensure there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion to your response. Additionally, try to use cohesive devices and topic sentences to link ideas clearly, and assure that paragraphs contain main points that are expanded and well-supported.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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