Some employers believe that job applicants’ social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, some business
owner
think Fix the agreement mistake
owners
about
the employee's social Change preposition
that
skills
are more significant than their school success
, whereas
, some employers
consider academic qualifications determine
the other Fix the infinitive
to determine
skills
, if a person who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
succeed
in their education life, they already Correct subject-verb agreement
succeeds
improve
considerable Wrong verb form
improved
skills
such
as communication, open-mindedness, patience, empathy. I agree with this
first opinion and will explain with more details and some practical examples.
Firstly
, the realms of science and technology have considerable advantages and wield diverse impacts on society. Although
,
these advances provide many qualifications, they Remove the comma
apply
have
not social Add a missing verb
do have
skills
. Employers
attach importance to their workers
characteristics as far as their Change to a genitive case
worker's
workers'
success
. In the work
environment, each employee's good relationship with others increases work
performance, which is a good opportunity for employers
. Harmonious working area
and employee satisfaction increase both early completion of Fix the agreement mistake
areas
work
and earnings. For
this
reason, employers
prefer to employ adaptation
individuals with good communication Replace the word
adaptable
skills
as well as
success
. For example
, according to
the
Forbes which is Correct article usage
apply
famous
magazine, seventy Add an article
a famous
percent
of Change the spelling
per cent
employers
hire employees who have a work
-life balance, high communication skills
and know what they want.
Secondly
, on the other hand
, some business owner
give priority Fix the agreement mistake
owners
worker's
academic qualifications. They consider that these qualified people will be Change preposition
to worker's
success
in all their life fields. Replace the word
successful
Furthermore
, these competent people tend to do their work
faster and more accurately. according to
these employers
, the most remerkable
factor in business life is not doing the job, but doing the job without mistakes. Companies can support Correct your spelling
remarkable
succeed
person by paying attention to their experience and the part which they contribute to Replace the word
successful
the
ability. For them, social Change the word
their
skills
are not very crucial, anyway, everyone should work
individually in a workplace and should not prepare the ground for socialising.
In conclusion, Although
, social skills
are important for some employers
, for others it is the success
of the employees that is
completely vital. I think that social gains bring success
in people's lives, after all, none of us are robots.Submitted by dytayseozgul on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that your paragraphs flow smoothly from one idea to another. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your sentences and ideas more effectively within paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good practice. However, they need to be more impactful. Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion, making sure it aligns with the content of your body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your main points need to be better supported. Ensure that each main idea is expanded upon with sufficient detail, evidence, or examples. Avoid making broad statements without backing them up with specific information or examples.
Task Achievement
To achieve a complete response to the task, carefully address all parts of the prompt. Make sure that your essay directly responds to the question asked, presenting a clear opinion on the issue.
Task Achievement
For clear and comprehensive ideas, be sure to define and explain your main points clearly. Avoid using overly complex language or sentences that could confuse the reader.
Task Achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument. These examples should clearly illustrate your point and be directly related to the topic at hand. Try to draw on a wide range of examples from your own experience or general knowledge.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example