The chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age in the public sector in the UK in 2015 and 2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the proportion of staff employed by age in the public sector in the UK in 2015 and 2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart depicts the proportion of staff employed by age in the public sector in the UK in two
years
, 2015 and 2020. It is clear from the graph, there is a rise in the
percentage
of over 50
years
in 2020. In 2015, the under 21 was 14%, which is the lowest
percentage
. The 21–30
years
records 23%, It is higher than under 21
years
. The 31–40
years
is 21% which is lower than 21–30
years
. The 41-50 group, they record 19%, and
that is
the second-lowest
percentage
in 2015. Over 50
years
achieve 23% which is as same the 21-30
years
group. In 2020, the
under 21
Add a hyphen
under-21
show examples
records dropped to 12%. The 21–30
years
increased to 33%, recording the highest
percentage
. The 31–40
years
shown decreased to 11%. The 41–50
years
rinks 28%, and
that is
the top 1 in the pie chart. Over 50
years
achieves
Wrong verb form
achieved
show examples
16%, which is a small decline.
To sum up
, we could say that the 21-30 group was higher in 2020.
Also
, 41-50 in 2020 is higher than the 21-30 in 2020.
Submitted by Yousef on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • public sector
  • employment trends
  • age demographics
  • experienced professionals
  • demand for stability
  • employment proportion
  • retirement trends
  • policy changes
  • value experience
  • age brackets
  • consistent demand
  • notable decrease/increase
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!