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The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity #summarise #information #features #comparisons
he
Correct your spelling
The
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 bar graph illustrates the percentage of male and female citizens of Australia categorised by their
age
 groups who
also
 performed
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
regular physical
activity
 in the year 2010.
Overall
, the number of women who engaged in physical
activity
 in 2010
are
Wrong verb form
was
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 more male whilst the
males
 who took part in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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physical
activity
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 less. From the
age
 group 65 and over neither the
males
 nor the
females
 have got 50%.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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they
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 were a lot of
females
 who engaged in the exercises than
males
 who participated from the
age
 group 35 to 44 up to 55 to 64.
Moreover
 ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 were more
males
 who did physical
activity
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with the
females
 between the
age
 group 15 to 24.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the percentage number of
males
 decreased
on
Change preposition
at
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 the next stage of the
age
 as
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 were more
females
 who took part in physical activities than
males
.
Submitted by karigaruvimbo on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, activity, males, females with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
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