The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the rates of
females
and
males
who passed the driving exam in a selected Asian country that took place between 1980 and 2010. At first glance, it is clearly apparent that the number of women who successfully passed the driving test was always higher than men.
Moreover
, the trend for both
females
and
males
has shown considerable growth over a 20-year period. In 1980, approximately 58% of women had succeeded in acquiring a driving licence, which to some extent,
also
made
this
initial juncture the lowest rate throughout the whole 20-year period.
On the other hand
,
males
only registered their number at approximately 28% in 1980, which
also
demonstrated the lowest rate compared to other years. Upon closer examination
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the figures, in the subsequent two decades, women had shown a dramatic increase, which recorded its peak at approximately 78% in 2000.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
in 2010, the percentage of
females
who secured the pass status of the driving exam had dropped slightly by nearly 3%.
However
, the recorded number of
females
in 2010 was still two times higher than the percentage of men in the decade before, which only settled at approximately 35%.
Thus
, in the
last
10 years, the group of
males
also
experienced a rise noticeably, which ended up at the same
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
, just below 50%.
Submitted by chastinervine on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words females, males with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 4 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Pass rate
  • Driving test
  • Trend
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Milestone
  • Comparison
  • Significant difference
  • Broad social changes
  • Policy changes
  • Surpass
  • Reflect
  • Implications
  • Disparity
  • Overall trends
  • Summarize
  • Statistical data
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