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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart bar gives information about shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan.

The bar chart bar gives information about shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan.
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The bar chart depicts the proportion of expenditures for five main categories in the four big
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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 namely,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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states
Capitalize word
States
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, Canada,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom, and Japan.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly apparent that almost in every country, the biggest
expenses
Fix the agreement mistake
expense
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 is in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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housing. Meanwhile, health care and clothing remain
as
Change preposition
apply
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the lowest
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
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. In every country, their consumption of money
diverse
Add a missing verb
is diverse
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 from each other. In
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States, Canada, and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom housing is their biggest
expenditures
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditure
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perspectively
Rephrase
apply
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. Meanwhile, food is where Japan outlays their money. For food, Japan occupied nearly 25% and
becoming
Wrong verb form
became
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 the biggest expenditure in
food
Add an article
the food
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 category.
In contrast
Linking Words
, all four countries spend less
in
Change preposition
on
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 their healthcare and clothes. All four countries except
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 spend less than 5% of their income
in
Change preposition
on
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 healthcare.
By comparison
Linking Words
,
US
Correct article usage
the US
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 spend less
in
Change preposition
on
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 their clothing.
Submitted by nientjeninan on

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