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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table describes the percentage of employers’ difficulty in recruiting employees in four different fields from 2003 to 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The table describes the percentage of employers’ difficulty in recruiting employees in four different fields from 2003 to 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
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The table gives information about the proportion of employers' difficulty in hiring skilled and unskilled workers,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 the managerial
staff
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 in four different industrial
sectors
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 in 2003 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the difficulty level of finding skilled workers in all four
sectors
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 was the highest, ranging between 41% and 51%, as compared to the other two groups of employees in 2003 and 2004. In the manufacturing, building, commerce, and services
sectors
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, The easiest group has been the managerial
staff
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 to recruit in the given period. The level of difficulty in terms of finding skilled and unskilled workers in manufacturing, building, and services
sectors
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 went up by 3-5
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 between 2003 and 2004,
while
Linking Words
 for managerial
staff
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this
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 level has relatively decreased by around 2%. The commerce sector,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, has made employment easier for recruiters during the given period,
reached to
Wrong verb form
reaching
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 0% for managerial
staff
Use synonyms
 ultimately.
Submitted by Reza Moravej on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words staff, sectors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
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