Some people mature with a specific career aspiration, whereas others remain uncertain about their preferred professional field. Nevertheless, societal norms often advocate for exploring diverse activities before determining the most fitting job position that aligns with one's personal inclinations. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #career #aspiration #field #norms #advocate #activities #job #position #aligns #inclinations

Some individuals grow up with a dream

job

while

others have no idea about their desired work field. In any case, society

sometime

Replace the word

sometimes

show examples

suggests engaging in various activities before being sure of which

job

position best suits one’s personal attitudes.

This

essay will elaborate on

this

topic and debate

pros

Correct article usage

the pros

show examples

and cons of

this

common belief.

Firstly

, young adults are still required to learn new

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

since schools cannot provide a comprehensive education in every field. So, trying different jobs allows individuals to acquire a diverse set of capabilities.

As a result

this

versatility can make them more adaptable and better suited for a variety of roles.

Additionally

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exposure to different work environments helps young people to make more informed decisions about their

career

paths by understanding what they enjoy the most and what they excel at.

On the other hand

, spending too much time trying various jobs might result in a lack of specialization.

For

this

reason,

this

could be a disadvantage when

Correct your spelling

show examples

comes to

job

positions that require deep and specialised expertise.

Accordingly

, it may take longer to climb the

career

ladder in larger companies, as each step takes years of perseverance and dedication.

In other words

, jumping from one

job

place to another can be detrimental to a loyal, long-term

career

. In conclusion, the decision to explore different

job

positions before deciding

for

Change preposition

show examples

a specific

career

path involves a trade-off between acquiring a broad range of skills and experiences versus the potential drawbacks of delayed specialization. Achieving long-term success and satisfaction requires careful consideration of these factors.

Submitted by giuliarighetti on Tue Jan 09 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that each main point is expanded with sufficient detail and relevant examples. Your essay lacks specific examples to reinforce the points you've made, which can enhance the overall argument and effectiveness of your examples.

coherence and cohesion

While the overall structure of the essay is logical and includes clear introductions and conclusions, you should aim for stronger coherence by more tightly weaving your ideas together with cohesive devices and ensuring paragraphs transition smoothly from one to the next.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

Today people are using the things and throwing or replacing it with latest models or latest fashion. Do the advantages of throwing away society outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factor such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

Some people believe what children watch on TV influences their behavior. Some say it's the amount of time watching television that influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.