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Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.
#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
These pie charts
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the percentage in 1958 and 2008 in a particular country for the time
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
taken by adults to do their
execrsices
Correct your spelling
exercises
.It
clear
Add a missing verb
is clear
show examples
 from the graphs that the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working was the
hieghest
Correct your spelling
highest
 for both years.
According to
 what is shown,the rate of change of relaxing at home was up by 5%
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1958 to 2008,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sleeping
was going
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 down
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 (7%)
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the same period. As for working, in 1958 travel to work
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the least per cent which was 2%, but
then
 it became the second least
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 8%.
Also
, as the travel to work changed by 6%, the working changed by 9%.
To sum up
, we could say that the maximum alternate happened was in part of going out approximately 13% through two years.
Submitted by bader.salem2001 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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