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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below displays the unemployment rates among university graduates in Australia, Canada, Germany, and Japan from 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below displays the unemployment rates among university graduates in Australia, Canada, Germany, and Japan from 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The Line chart depicts the unemployment proportion
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 university graduates within 4 countries (Australia, Canada, Germany and Japan)
about
Change preposition
for about
show examples
 20 years from 2000 to 2020. In
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hindsight, it can be seen that all of the categories showed
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 downward trend.
Initially
Linking Words
, in the early period, Australia started the number of unworked people at 8,
then
Linking Words
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 dramatically to 10 (2008) and
sunddely
Correct your spelling
suddenly
 dropped to 7 in 2020.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in 2000, beginning at 6 recognised
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Japan. Following that, it
was grow
Change the verb form
grew
show examples
 to 9 in 2008 and declined over the next 12 years (at 4). In 2000,
Germany
Change noun form
Germany's
show examples
 unemployment numbers stood at 5 and climbed to 8 but
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 3
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period (2020).
Conversely
Linking Words
, Canada showed
an
Change the article
a
show examples
fluctuative
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
, it started at 7
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but dropped dramatically at 6 in 2018,
then
Linking Words
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a peak in 2012 (10) and
ends
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 at 6 in 2020, it was far fewer
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 and
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
show examples
 but slightly under Australia.

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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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