IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The hotel were you and your family spent the weekend did not offer the service they had promised. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: • Introduce yourself. • Explain the problem. • State what action you would like from the hotel. Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam Hope you are doing well. I write
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my dissatisfaction about your poor service during me and my family in your
hotel
Use synonyms
. Let me introduce
my self
Correct your spelling
myself
show examples
, I am Vijay and I booked your
hotel
Use synonyms
 for my
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
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 wedding anniversary. I was looking for
Use synonyms
hotel
Add an article
a hotel
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 that
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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 birthday
cakes
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 and I found your
hotel
Use synonyms
 on social media and
then
Linking Words
 I decided to
booked
Change the verb
book
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 your
hotel
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. Me and my family arrived
in
Change preposition
at
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 your
hotel
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
on
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 23 April 2020 around 10:00 am. At that time I asked your staff about my birthday
cakes
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 but she told me if the cake
not
Add a missing verb
was not
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 done yet.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would like to
gave
Change the verb
give
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 my
parents
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surprise
Correct article usage
a surprise
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. I waited around 4
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
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 for the
cakes
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. After waiting for a long time,
finaly
Correct your spelling
finally
 my
cakes
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 it is already
to serve
Change the verb form
served
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. But I think there is wrong with
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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cakes
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, because that's
cakes
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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 look
likes
Wrong verb form
like
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a birthday
Correct the article-noun agreement
birthday cakes
a birthday cake
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cakes
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they did not write my
parents
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' names on the cake even
I
Correct word choice
though I
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request
Wrong verb form
requested
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 them to write my
parents
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' names on the top of
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cakes
Correct article usage
the cakes
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. I am completely
dissapointed
Correct your spelling
disappointed
 with your service. I would like you to refund my money or you could
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
give me an extra time to stay overnight at your
hotel
Use synonyms
. I am looking forward to your positive response Best Regards, Joy

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph presents a single idea clearly and concisely; avoid mixing multiple thoughts in one paragraph. This will improve the logical flow and comprehensibility.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize linking words and transitions appropriately to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs, thereby enhancing the cohesion of the letter.
Task Achievement
Adopt a more formal tone throughout the letter to suit the nature of a complaint to a hotel manager; avoid casual language and ensure grammatical accuracy.
Task Achievement
Carefully address all the points of the task: Introduce yourself in a more formal manner, describe the problem concisely and make your desired outcome clear.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Disheartening
  • Unavailability
  • Inadequate
  • Compensation
  • Rectify
  • Subpar
  • Discrepancy
  • Hospitality
  • Conveying dissatisfaction
  • Anticipated services
  • Constructive feedback
  • Amicably resolve
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