Nowadays employment options are changing and employees cannot rely on having the same job and working conditions throughout their life. What are some possible causes? Suggest some ways to plan for the future under these circumstances.

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In today’s modern era,
change
is inevitable in relation to employment. Myriad
work
options may provide a majority of
people
extremely
Change preposition
with extremely
show examples
high chances to choose a
job
as per their convenience and personal interests. In my opinion, the current
job
scenarios should
change
, which may significantly reflect a positive direction to retain the talent.
This
essay will elucidate the recent causes of
change
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment options and the solutions to tackle it in the future.
To begin
with, multiple multinational companies have opened bases in underdeveloped countries, and they are open to
hire
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hiring
show examples
experienced
people
with hefty wages. The
work
atmosphere in
such
companies
differ
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differs
show examples
enormously as compared to the domestic organisations where
change
of jobs is frequently witnessed.
Such
a drawback from a few
home grown
Correct your spelling
homegrown
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companies can compel a great number of
people
to opt for a
job
change
.
In addition
, with the onset of the internet,
people
can be tremendously exposed to varieties of jobs across the globe.
As a result
, they may have many options at the same time which
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
them with an upper hand. To promptly tackle issues of
work
culture and
under payment
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underpayment
show examples
of wages in the near future, the government’s inclusion becomes vital. Across all organisations, wages should be revised and benchmarked in line with the income received in developed countries which should take care of household expenses comfortably.
Furthermore
, the top-down hierarchy should be dissolved, and each individual should be made responsible for their own
work
. In
this
way, the organisations can potentially promote a healthy
work
atmosphere which can prevent exploitation of employees and eventually
change
of jobs To recapitulate, the unsatisfactory
work
culture and the low remuneration are the plausible causes for the frequent
job
switching. In order to solve
such
problems, the ruling body of the country should take considerate steps to understand the
change
in corporate scenarios.
Submitted by pateldhruv1497 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
You have presented an essay with an adequate logical structure, though transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Include a wider variety of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present and clear, their connection to the body of the essay could be stronger. Aim for a more cohesive recapitulation of the main points in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have supported your main points to a reasonable degree. However, offering more detailed explanations and expanding on the causes and solutions with concrete examples would strengthen the argumentation.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the task and presented some causes and solutions related to the changing nature of employment. Though the response addresses the prompt, it could delve deeper into the reasons behind these changes and offer more nuanced suggestions.
Task Achievement
The essay would benefit from further development of ideas, providing a clearer and more comprehensive perspective on the subject matter. Take care to ensure each paragraph elaborates on its central idea with sufficient detail.
Task Achievement
The use of more relevant and specific examples to back up your points would aid in making your essay more convincing. Drawing on real-world scenarios or statistics could elevate the level of your task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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