many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that most managerial job
positions
in most developed countries are offered to
men
even in companies with almost equal numbers of
men
and
women
employees. I do not agree that these
positions
should be offered to
women
. There are several reasons why
men
are appropriate for handling top
positions
in different organizations.
Firstly
, it has been proven historically that the trait of leadership in
men
is much stronger than in
women
.
Secondly
, based on male characteristics, tough tasks can be handled in a better way by
men
.
That is
,
due to
the physical and mental aspects of
men
they are much
resilient
Correct quantifier usage
more resilient
show examples
to pull difficult tasks off and even work longer and harder
as well as
adapt to various circumstances.
Finally
,
men
exposed to
stress
, show more reliability in handling tasks.
For instance
, a male football manager makes better decisions in the final minutes of the game under harsh pressure. I believe that most
women
, with all due respect, cannot handle high
positions
in most companies. As opposed to
men
, most
women
cannot manage and dissolve high levels of
stress
.
As a result
, most of them would take that
stress
back home and affect the house atmosphere negatively. Needless to say,
stress
results in various health issues in
women
compared to
men
.
Furthermore
, females tend to make decisions emotionally rather than logically and management is not considered to be an emotional task.
In addition
, most
men
cannot bear being ordered by a female boss and lack of teamwork enthusiasm may collapse every organization from within. In conclusion, my view is that top spots in companies, despite the equal number of people on the payroll, should be handled by
men
than
women
.
Submitted by sajad.bazdar.2012 on

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task achievement
The essay shows a significant deviation from acceptable modern values and social equality. These views are discriminatory and do not comply with the current global mindset, which values gender equality and diversity in the workplace. IELTS writing tasks require an unbiased, balanced perspective on issues, rather than one which promotes stereotypes or gender inequalities. It is suggested to provide an objective analysis and, if necessary, contrast differing viewpoints respectfully.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, with arguments not being clearly introduced, supported, or concluded. To improve, focus on starting with a clear introductory paragraph that sets the stage for your argument, followed by body paragraphs that each put forward a distinct point with supporting evidence or examples, and ending with a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your stance without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Your main points should always be supported by appropriate and relevant examples that are in line with modern and accepted social practices. The examples provided in your essay reflected personal opinions and stereotypes rather than factual information or widely accepted viewpoints. When selecting examples, ensure they substantiate your arguments in a way that aligns with contemporary social standards and use reliable sources or studies as evidence where possible.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender parity
  • Inclusive workforce
  • Corporate governance
  • Glass ceiling
  • Equal opportunity
  • Progressive policies
  • Workforce diversity
  • Merit-based promotion
  • Affirmative action
  • Empowerment
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