IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

The charls below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#charls #show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients #summarise #information #features #comparisons
These pie charts represent three different types of dietaries
Sodium
, Added
Sugar
, and Saturated Fat. These nutrients are not healthy if you take them too much. In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, people
take
Verb problem
consume
show examples
Sodium
 14%
in
Change preposition
of in
show examples
 breakfast, but in breakfast, they
used to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
consume 16%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Added
Sugar
 and Saturated Fat. At lunch, 29%
sodium
 is eaten which is comparatively
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 than Added
Sugar
 and Saturated Fat. Added Suger consumption at lunch is 19% and Saturated fat is consumed 26%.
On the other hand
, there is a dramatic increment in the consumption of
Sodium
 at dinner is 43% which is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 health,
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
 the
othetr
Correct your spelling
other
 two
component
Change to a plural noun
components
show examples
 are eaten 23% and 37% at dinner. As a
snacks
Correct the article-noun agreement
snack
show examples
, people have 14%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sodium
, but
Added
Correct article usage
the Added
show examples
Sugar taking
Correct your spelling
Sugar-taking
show examples
 level is high in the snacks about 42%. Saturated Fat is 21% in the snacks which is not as harmful as Added
Sugar
.
To conclude
, There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 ups and down in every
components
Change to a singular noun
component
show examples
 but in the
snakes
Correct your spelling
snacks
show examples
 and dinner Added
Sugar
 and
Sodium
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 too high.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
It is essential to structure your essay in an organized way that clearly shows the progression of your arguments. Ensure that your introduction sets the stage for what you will discuss and that your conclusion summarily wraps up your points.
coherence cohesion
Remember to use cohesive devices effectively to link your ideas and paragraphs. This may include transition words, pronoun references, and conjunctions, which will help your response flow more naturally and logically.
coherence cohesion
It's important to support your main points with clear explanations or examples. Make sure your essay includes specific details that highlight not just what the trends are, but also how they compare and contrast across the different nutrients and meals.
task achievement
To fully meet the task requirements, ensure your response covers all aspects of the prompt comprehensively. This means you should describe all significant trends and make necessary comparisons where relevant.
task achievement
Strive to present your ideas in a clear and logical manner. It's important for your essay to clearly convey the information presented in the charts, with a progression of ideas that is easy to follow.
task achievement
When giving examples, be as specific as possible. Refer directly to the data provided and use numbers or percentages where appropriate to illustrate your points clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: