Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. So, companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The
labor
force in many developed countries consists of females with a percentage of more than 50%, Change the spelling
labour
however
, many men fill top-level positions
in industries. It provokes the argument that companies
should establish rules about the allocation of positions
in high-level to women
and I completely agree with that. In this
essay, I will examine the reasons why I agree with the statement along with
a summary.
To begin
with, the proportion of men that dominate higher positions
in most companies
shows the imbalance in gender roles and opportunities, although
, in reality, women
also
have competencies for leading companies
such
as attracting female customers. Many companies
have customers purpose who are female, thus
female management
would be able to provide solutions to increase the company's sales. For example
, in an interview, Raj Shamani, director of Pee Safe, a women
's hygiene brand, said that the company's sales had risen significantly after his wife joined the directorship. In other words
, female leadership has the same contribution to the company as well as
male.
Furthermore
, having women
on top management
levels can provide security for the female junior staff who are prone getting sexual harassment in the workplace. They can report the cases confidently to top management
without being afraid of getting mistreatment because they know their women
director will listen to them. For instance
, sexual harassment cases in Reliance decreased significantly after Nita Ambani joined as a director.
In conclusion, although
more than 50% workforce are females, most high-level positions
are full of men. I strongly agree with the statement that companies
need to establish rules for a certain percentage of top management
positions
for women
because their leadership contributes to increased sales of companies
and they can make the junior staff feel more safe
and more secure.Replace the words
safer
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introduction conclusion present
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supported main points
Work on developing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader on what the paragraph will discuss. Ensure each paragraph has one central idea and that subsequent sentences elaborate or provide evidence supporting that idea.
logical structure
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complete response
Your essay must respond to all parts of the task fully. You should spend time analyzing the prompt and ensuring that every component of the question is addressed in your response. It's not enough to simply agree or disagree; you should explore why you hold your perspective and consider counterarguments as well.
clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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