The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future.

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent times, there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
swift shifts
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the working environment, causing
workers
cannot rely
to
Change the preposition
on
upon
show examples
the main occupation they already have.
This
essay will discuss the plausible reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the given phenomena
along with
the alternative ways to overcome it. The notable cause for the working evolution is
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the existence of technology. It is possible since the emergence of sophisticated
tecnologies
Correct your spelling
technologies
can immediately substitute human labour as they are more efficient in time.Take the example
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
workers
in several
South-Korean
Correct your spelling
South Korean
show examples
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
stores who are replaced with
high-developed
Correct your spelling
developed
show examples
tools to
check-out
Correct your spelling
check out
show examples
costumer's
Change noun form
customers'
show examples
orders. Following that, people start to be more flexible
of
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in
show examples
valuing several occupancies. In the past, society tend to have firm standards of being
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
by occupying some prominent jobs,
such
as doctors or office
workers
. That situation slowly
diminshed
Correct your spelling
diminished
since the arrival of technologies where people can easily claim themselves employed by utilising them. In Indonesia, it is emblazoned within people who claim themselves as a YouTube vlogger or TikTok's content creator. Derived from that replacement and evolution, individuals can have dogmatic views that their potential will not be appreciated and deployed anymore, which
initiate
Correct subject-verb agreement
initiates
show examples
them to start looking for alternatives. There are ways to prepare individuals for facing the future world of work.
First,
enhance soft
skills
and hard
skills
.
With
Change preposition
By
show examples
qualifying themselves with helpful
skills
through certified
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
, there is a likelihood that employees can maintain their position within their working area, which can reduce company expenses. Another way is, that
workers
can start to find
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
side-jobs
Correct your spelling
side jobs
show examples
. Establishing their own or joint
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
might be advantageous for their future investment
,
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apply
show examples
since the received income will be rotated to make more money.
To conclude
,
although
the arrival of technologies and changing
paradigm
Fix the agreement mistake
paradigms
show examples
about work are attributed to the major changes in the working environment and conditions,
workers
can strive from that by starting to enhance useful
skills
and looking for additional jobs.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Achievement
Your essay showed a fair understanding of the topic, presenting both causes and ways to prepare for future work. However, the explanations could be more elaborated, and the examples should be more directly linked to the arguments made.
Coherence & Cohesion
While there is an attempt to organize the essay into paragraphs, the logical flow between sentences and ideas can be improved. Work on using a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences that clearly signal the main idea of each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Robotics
  • Globalization
  • Outsourcing
  • Freelance work
  • Flexibility
  • Job Security
  • Education reform
  • Critical thinking
  • Adaptability
  • Continuous education
  • Retraining programs
  • Legislation
  • Corporate responsibility
  • Competitive edge
  • Work-life balance
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