IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar charts illustrate the number of graduate
students
Use synonyms
 and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 who went up into full-time jobs in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States after college over the year 2008.
overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
including
Change preposition
apply
show examples
after studying get on full-time work
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 postgraduation and graduation in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 during
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
2008, there was the majority in
further
Linking Words
 study
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both before graduation and after,
While
Linking Words
 the lowest number was voluntary work.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph what is shown,
further
Linking Words
 studying was the highest figure for graduate studying was 29,665.
Next,
Linking Words
part-time jobs and unemployment were 17,735 and 16,236
students
Use synonyms
 respectively.
finally
Linking Words
, there was lowest the figure for graduate studies ,with 3500 learning.
By contrast
Linking Words
, there were the largest number of postgraduates who had
further
Linking Words
 learning and part-time working different around 200
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there was a minority of postgraduates at 345 among voluntary jobs.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time work
  • graduate
  • postgraduate
  • trends
  • part-time work
  • further study
  • gap year
  • traveling
  • unemployment
  • percentages
  • proportion
  • significant differences
  • subsequent activities
  • career progression
  • academic advancement
  • job market
  • vocational training
  • data interpretation
  • employment sector
  • career-oriented steps
What to do next:
Look at other essays: