IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison when relevant.

The charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison when relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparison
The charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 information about
destination
Add an article
the destination
show examples
 of UK postgraduates and graduates in 2008 can choose. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned above, there are 4
destination
Change to a plural noun
destinations
show examples
: part-time
work
, voluntary
work
,
futher
Correct your spelling
further
study
 and unemployment.
Overall
, the number of
futher
Correct your spelling
further
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 in
these two comparison
Change the determiner
this two comparison
these two comparisons
show examples
 is the highest,
while
 voluntary
work
 is the smallest.
Graduates
Fix the agreement mistake
Graduate
show examples
 UK
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who
Add a missing verb
were interest
show examples
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in part-time
work
 was 17,735. The number of voluntary
work
 was 3,500, which
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 smallest.
Futher
Correct your spelling
Further
study
 and unemployment reach 29,665 and 16,235. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand,
postgraduates
Fix the agreement mistake
postgraduate
show examples
 UK
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 had a
biggest
Correct word choice
bigger
show examples
 interest in
futher
Correct your spelling
further
study
 than voluntary
work
.
Besides
, part-time
work
 and unemployment have 2,535 and 1,625 interest.
Submitted by hai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, futher, study with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graduate and postgraduate students
  • full-time work
  • further study
  • part-time work
  • voluntary work
  • engagement levels
  • trend analysis
  • financial needs
  • social consciousness
  • practical experience
  • personal growth
  • international exposure
  • gap period
  • unemployed
  • economic reasons
  • career paths
What to do next:
Look at other essays: