The pie charts compare the amount of online shopping sales for retail parts in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Moreover, those are divided into four categories: travel, film/music, book, and clothes.
The two pie charts illustrate the comparison of online
sales
for retail sectors that have four types such
as travel
, film/music, books and clothes in New Zealand in the year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
of
2003 and 2013.
Change preposition
apply
Overall
, it can be seen that travel
dominated the
Correct article usage
apply
sales
in 2003 while
books'
Fix the agreement mistake
book'
sales
were fewer
. Correct word choice
lower
However
, in 2013, the biggest proportion was travel
while
the lowest one was clothes.
To begin
with, travel
category had more than one-third Correct article usage
the travel
sales
which made Change preposition
of sales
this
type is
the largest in 2003, Unnecessary verb
apply
then
fell in 2013 to 29%. Similar to clothes, almost 25% of people purchased them, but then
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
for
nearly 10%.
Change preposition
to
On the other hand
, although
at first books were the smallest number, it kept increasing from 16% to 22% in 2013. Furthermore
, the raising of this
type was similar to film or music, more people chose to buy these that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
make
the Wrong verb form
making
sales
was
greater than before.Unnecessary verb
apply
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, travel with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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