Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that it is more advantageous to choose a
job
with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
wage, even
you
Correct word choice
if you
show examples
don't get any
satisfaction
. I completely disagree with
this
phenomenon. I think
job
satisfaction
is more important than high
salary
. In
this
essay, I will describe
this
issue and give
explanation
Add an article
an explanation
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
my opinion. First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
, A
job
with high
payment
Replace the word
pay
show examples
but without mental peace
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not give us a happy life. If a person
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
work without his
satisfaction
then
stress will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occur
and he needs to compromise his own conscience. That will lead
Change preposition
to a
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unhappy life for him.
For example
, many scientists choose their career
satisfaction
over
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
. They focused on their willingness of science not on the huge amount of payment from
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
.
For instance
, they
got
Verb problem
have
show examples
a
well organised
Add a hyphen
well-organised
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Secondly
, If you want a secure career in future
then
just do what motivates you. If you find interest in any
job
then
just do it without thinking about the
salary
. One day the hard work will pay off and you will get your
desire
Replace the word
desired
show examples
career.
For example
, Henry Miller a famous
writter
Correct your spelling
writer
left his
high
Add a hyphen
high-salary
show examples
salary
job
only for his
keen
Replace the word
keenness
show examples
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
writing. He sacrificed his high wage and
venture
Wrong verb form
ventured
show examples
him
Change preposition
into him
show examples
as a writer. After enduring ups and
downs
Add a comma
downs,
show examples
he became a famous writer. So, I think a satisfied
job
outweighs the large amount of payment.
To conclude
, The importance of
job
satisfaction
is very inevitable and it is much more valuable than
Add an article
the high
a high
show examples
high range
Add a hyphen
high-range
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
salary
.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

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Task Achievement
Be sure to fully develop and extend your main points with specific examples. While you have provided some, more detail and depth can strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating clear and logical connections between your ideas, ensuring that paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Using a wider range of linking words and phrases can help improve coherence.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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