IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

You live in a small university town. Last week, you drove to a big city about two hours away to buy a new laptop at a good price. You worked on the the laptop all week and finished writing a long assignment that is due shortly. However, this week, the laptop doesnt even switch on. Write to the store. In your letter : Tell the store where you live & what happened Explain the problem with the laptop State what action you would like the store to take

#university #town #week #city #two #hours #laptop #price #assignment #doesnt #switch #store #action
Dear Sir or Madam I'm writing to complain about
laptop
Correct article usage
a laptop
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 I purchased a week ago. I have been living in
this
 town since I became
student
Add an article
a student
the student
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.I needed
laptop
Add an article
a laptop
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 for my studies nowadays,so I went to the store and bought one.At
first
Change the article
the first
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 week it was working amazingly,
however
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 week I found out that,
brightness
Correct article usage
the brightness
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 was low,and I could barely
did
Change the verb form
do
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 my studies,to make matters worse,
laptop
Correct pronoun usage
my laptop
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 suddenly
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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died out,so I charged it but it didn't work.I would be grateful if you could give me a full refund. I look forward to receiving a full refund. Yours faithfully Mushtariy
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, clear idea addressing the points mentioned in the prompt. Your letter needs improvement in structuring the content into clear logical paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Make use of appropriate greetings and sign-offs for a formal letter. Your sign-off was appropriate, but consider using 'Dear Store Manager' or 'Dear Customer Service Team' as a more precise opening.
task achievement
Expand your letter to fully address all three points in the prompt: 1) Describe where you live and your purchase experience, 2) Elaborate on the problem with the laptop, 3) Clearly state your desired action from the store.
task achievement
Maintain a formal and polite tone throughout the letter. Avoid casual language and ensure that you state your points politely and with respect.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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