The line graph below gives information about the percentage of women aged 15-64 in employment between 2003 and 2009.

#line #information #percentage #women #employment

The following maps illustrate the current industrial district in Norbiton city and the residential district which will be developed in the future, replacing the latter.

Overall

this

part of the side of Norbiton City will be undergoing massive changes, currently, it is surrounded by factories and it will all be replaced by housing and necessary facilities

such

as hospitals, schools, and shops. First of all, in the centre

area

just before the large roundabout, a new smaller roundabout will be built to control traffic flow in and out of the

area

. Just after entering the large roundabout, various shops will be put together, so the residents can buy their household items near

homes

Correct pronoun usage

their homes

show examples

. On the opposite of the new shopping

area

, southeast of the large roundabout, a new healthcare

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

will be established to provide immediate treatment for the people.

Lastly

, in the north

area

of the large roundabout, there will be a new road and a bridge constructed over the river to connect the new housing

area

beside the farmland. Meanwhile, the existing long road on the east side from the large roundabout will be surrounded by three blocks of houses and the factory on the end of the road will be demolished and replaced with a school, so the residents do not have to go all the way to the town.

Furthermore

, a spacious playground will be constructed between the

Submitted by julykryuchkova on Fri Feb 02 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graph below gives information about the percentage of women aged 15-64 in employment between 2003 and 2009.

In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem.What are the causes of this and wha actions can be taken to solve this problem?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything, they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fewer and fewer children are willing to look after their parents as they get older these days. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.