The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status

The chart illustrates

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

how much free time

utilised

Add a missing verb

was utilised

show examples

by males and females of various employment

status

Fix the agreement mistake

statuses

show examples

in a year period from 1998 to 1999.

Overall

, men accounted for full-time employment, unemployment, and retirement more than women. Meanwhile, women took the entire part of part-time employment and

become

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

housewives.

Submitted by narawriteshare9 on Mon Feb 05 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

49 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the news has no connection to people's lives, so then it is a waste of time to read the news in the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The best way to motivate employees is to increase their salaries. Do you agree with this statement? Are there any other ways to encourage employees to work more efficiently?

Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?