The graphs below show that post-school qualifications held by Canadians in the age groups 25 to 35 and 45 to 55.
The pie charts illustrate degree holders who related to two
age
categories whom
studied different fields in schools in Canada.
Change the pronoun
who
Overall
, most of the Canadians who are attributed to age
25-35, studied social science
and arts
at their schools while
many natives who related to the age
category of 45 - 55 , learned social science
and arts
.
With regards to the age
of 25 -35 , natives who learned social science
and arts
at 20%, followed by administration 19
%,Change preposition
at 19
science
, maths computers 18
% ,Change preposition
at 18
education
and engineering Correct word choice
and education
15
% and 9% respectively.Change preposition
at 15
Moreover
, people
who studied humanities and nursing 4
% and 7% respectively. MBA holders are 6% and 2% Add a missing verb
were 4
holds
other Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
qulaification
which is not surveyed.
Correct your spelling
qualification
qualifications
On the other hand
, people
who Change preposition
for people
belongs
to the Change the verb form
belong
age
of 45-55 , 21% of people
mastered social science
and arts
whereas
19% and 15% of people
came from engineering and administration fields.Furthermore
, it can be noticeable that a fourth related
to both education and nursing fields. Add a missing verb
is related
People
who followed scienced
, maths,Correct your spelling
science
computers
at Correct word choice
and computers
10%.followed
by humanitiesCorrect your spelling
10 %.followed
5
%. When it comes to MBA holders and other Change preposition
at 5
qulaifications
, it seemed 3% each.Correct your spelling
qualifications
Submitted by Praslah on
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, science, arts, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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