The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of the work office of

Canadian

Fix the agreement mistake

Canadians

show examples

for 5 different industries in

years

Correct article usage

the years

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1850 and 2020.

Overall

, in 2020,services

reaches

Wrong verb form

reached

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81%,

compare

Change the form of the verb

compared

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to 1850 it was just 33%.

Also

agriculture

Change preposition

in agriculture

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and fishing industries in 2020

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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was just 1% same as energy and water in the same year. In 2020, manufacturing and

constructin

Correct your spelling

construction

industries

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

between 8% to 9%.

Submitted by shahooda7777 on Wed Feb 07 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

64 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Many things that use to be done in the home by hand are now being done by the machines. Does this development bring more advantage or disadvantage.

in some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantagges and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some university students want to learn about their subjects in addition to main subiects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attentions to studying for qualitications. Discuss both these views and giving your opinion.

In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before.

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?