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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Job satisfaction As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

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In recent days, individuals are spending most of their time working,
instead
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 of staying at home.
However
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,
there's
Change the verb form
there are
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 still many
workers
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 dissatisfied or sorrowful with their jobs because of an imbalance between the check amount and the tasks done.
To begin
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 with,
salary
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 is one of the most important factors that affects the
employees
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 well being. The
Amount
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amount
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 of
salary
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that is
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 retrieved by the assignment description will be the top reason for someone to do the responsibilities.
Moreover
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,
workers
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 get an underpaid check will be dissatisfied
due to
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 the effort and dedication
for
Change preposition
of
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 the company,
although
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 getting less than what is deserved. If
salary
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 might give a greater provider to
employees
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'
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work ability
Correct your spelling
workability
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, considerable cooperation and good colleagues are other factors that contribute to having a rewarding
careers
Correct the article-noun agreement
career
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.
For example
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, Google is the company that has the best
work
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 culture in
emphasizingteamwork
Correct your spelling
emphasising teamwork
 and diversity, it provides a great working environment for their
employees
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increase
Fix the infinitive
to increase
show examples
work
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 efficiency.
Furthermore
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, there are many
workers
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are unsatisfied with their jobs, and there are several solutions that solve the problems. An effective solution would be to give new meaning to their jobs. It means that the
employees
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 find a way to make a positive thought about their
work
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. Not only does any
work
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 from the
workers
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 have value, but
also
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 the manager should ensure that all
employees
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 have received compliments on every achievement.
For example
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, the
workers
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 can say I should be happy with
this
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 job because it gives me money, so I can take care of my family.
To conclude
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, job satisfaction has a big impact on the happiness of
workers
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 nowadays. The main factors that contribute to job satisfaction are
salary
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 value and
meaning
Correct article usage
the meaning
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 of their
work
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.

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task achievement
Consider directly addressing all parts of the prompt. The prompt asks for factors contributing to job satisfaction and the realism of the expectation for job satisfaction for all workers. While your essay touches on this, directly addressing both questions in separate paragraphs can improve clarity and completeness.
coherence cohesion
Work on the overall organization of your essay. Introduce each main idea with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and transitional phrases to better connect your ideas. This will greatly enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points made in your essay without introducing new information. Restate the importance of the topic and your main findings to leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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