You recently bought a piece of equipement for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter Describe the problem with the equipment explain what happened when you phoned the shop say what you would like the manager to do
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing
this
letter to express my disappointment regarding a piece of equipement
that I recently bought but, it does not work and about the bad customer service experience.
On 5th July 2023, I bought Correct your spelling
equipment
a
Change the article
an
LG's
toaster and when I Change noun form
LG
pluged
Correct your spelling
plugged
in
, it Correct pronoun usage
it in
does
not turn on. To solve Wrong verb form
did
this
issue, I called at
customer service Change preposition
apply
serveral
times but nobody picked Correct your spelling
several
the
phone Change preposition
up the
and
for once Correct word choice
apply
a
employee picked Change the article
an
and
Change preposition
up and
he
refused to exchange/return it. The only reason he gave was, Correct pronoun usage
apply
our
store does not exchange or return unless it is in-store damage. Correct word choice
that our
Moreover
, before the purchase was made I asked your employee's
to check the toaster once but they neglected it.
I would like you to replace my order or return my money on the same mode of payment. Change noun form
employees
Furthermore
, the employee's
should reply in a positive and humble way. I hope you will address my concern as soon as possible.
Your's Change noun form
employees
faithfully
,
TomReplace the adverb
faithful
Submitted by harneet2001kaur on
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Greeting and Closing
Consider adding a more specific greeting if the shop manager's name is known, as it helps personalize your letter and may garner a quicker response.
Logical Structure
Your letter would benefit from a clearer logical structure. Try organizing it into distinct paragraphs: introduction, problem description, issue with customer service, and your expectations for resolution. This will make your argument more coherent.
Single Idea per Paragraph
To improve coherence, each paragraph should focus on a single idea. Start with an introductory sentence for each paragraph, followed by supporting sentences, and use transition words to connect ideas smoothly.
Complete Response
You've managed to convey your message and adhere to the task's requirements well. To elevate your score, ensure that your letter covers all aspects of the prompt comprehensively. Adding more details about the equipment and your experience might enrich the content and demonstrate a fuller understanding of the task.
Suitable Writing Tone
The tone of your letter is mostly appropriate, striking a balance between formality and expressing dissatisfaction. To enhance it, consider using more varied sentence structures and polite requests or suggestions for what you'd like the manager to do.