IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The presented bar chart illustrates three various sectors which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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contributed
in
Change preposition
to
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 the economy of Britain in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 twentieth century.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that manufacturing has been decreasing over the century,
while
Linking Words
 the business and finance contribution witnessed a dramatic rise over the given period. In detail,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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agriculture
Use synonyms
 provided the highest ratio of the economy of the UK at 50%. The second highest proportion belonged to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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manufacturing at almost 45%. In the meantime, the business and financial part was nearly close to 0 per cent.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 1950, compared to fifty years ago, the
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and the manufacturing had around 5% increase,
whereas
Linking Words
 the finance sector had a slight fall. In the following 25 years, the
agriculture
Use synonyms
 part had a considerable drop which was around 40%,
while
Linking Words
 the business went up to approximately 20 per cent.
Finally
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
priode
Correct your spelling
period
,
Correct article usage
the economical
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economical
Replace the word
economic
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 part sharply rose and reached
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak at 35%,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture
Use synonyms
, which provided the highest portion of the economy of the UK
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the century, reduced to almost 0%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparative analysis
  • Declining trend
  • Agrarian economy
  • Fluctuations
  • Industrial advancements
  • Recessions
  • Significant growth
  • Service-oriented industries
  • Dynamic economic structure
  • Traditional sectors
  • Modern service-based sectors
  • Urbanization
  • Technological advancements
  • Global market integrations
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